More metal than your grandmother's hip replacement

I saw Cult of Luna play live on Thursday. I meant to write something about it, but the text kept growing and time kept shrinking, so I had to postpone it. Until now.

The opening act was Kongh. They're one of those bands that I've been meaning to check out, for quite some time now, but haven't gotten around to. I have heard a few songs from their debut, "Counting Heartbeats", and liked what I heard with the exception of the vocals. So I was expecting to nod along to some tunes and then cringe as the vocalist opened his mouth. How wrong I was.

Kongh came on to samples from the classic King Kong movie. That alone was enough to put a smile on my face. Then they proved that three people can sound like a dozen, which made the smile even wider. Kongh moves somewhere in the region between doom bands like Yob and faster, more progressive acts like Mastodon, and they do their thing really, really well. Slowly droning doom blends seamlessly with amazing drumming and intricate guitarwork, without it ever veering off to guitar solos. And the vocalist sounded a lot better live than what I remember from the CD.

Kongh gets seven beards out of ten.

The second band was Lowood. I had never heard the name before, and was expecting something along the lines of the other two bands, that is moody men in their 20s and 30s, more likely bearded than not, churning out slow, ten-minute metal tunes. Again, how wrong I was.

Lowood turned out to be two women/girls, probably in their twenties, with nothing but two microphones, a synthesizer and a guitar. While their music, which was in the singer/songwriter vein with great pop melodies and Duran Duran-ish squeals from the synthesizer, is about as far from the other bands as you can go and still be a guitar-based band, the mood they conveyed was very appropriate and fit right in with both Kongh and Cult of Luna.

Unfortunately the din from the bar almost drowned their low-key songs, which made it hard to listen properly.

For now Lowood gets five beards out of ten, but I expect that to change if I can get my hands on some of their songs.

On to the main attraction then. I've seen Cult of Luna quite a few times now, and they've managed to be both exceptional and as dull as watching paint dry. Last night was more towards exceptional, but still not anywhere near the best I've seen them. They have two main problems.

The top one is the singer (screamer, really), who manages to contribute just about nothing every time he's on stage. His voice goes after a few songs, and his stage presence is about as exciting as another microphone stand. The one time I've seen them and they have been exceptional, he wasn't there, and the guitarist, who screams on some songs anyway, did all
the screaming.

The second problem is not as big now as it used to be. A few years back they probably had some guy walking around before the show, nailing all their feet to the stage and inserting metal rods down their spines. They've been moving around more and more over the years, especially some of them, and now they did a fairly good job of pulling up those nails and breaking those rods. I expect they have fired that guy by now.

If they had peppered their playlist with stuff further back than "Somewhere Along The Highway" (they might have, but being the old geezer I am I left before they were done) I might have been more enthusiastic, but I completely understand the urge to only play newer stuff.

Cult of Luna gets six beards out of ten.

It's alive, it's alive, it's alive! It's ALIVE!

Yes. The laptop is finally alive and kickin'. No channeling of thunderstorms or bodyparts from corpses needed. Instead, the undescribable voodoo that is a fresh OS from a CD.

I however, am only barely alive today. Last night began with a formal shindig, where we (as in The Company I Work For) gave out awards to the best sales people from the various companies we employ to sell our stuff. I wore a tuxedo. Yes, it's true. Pictures were taken. After food and some free beer and wine there, it was off to my brother's place for his going away party. He's spending a year in New Zeeland, starting Thursday. I'm not envious at all...

Various beverages where consumed. A good time was had. A shelf was destroyed. By me. I have Godzilla aspirations, and thought I would start off small-scale.

Today will consist of: fatty foods and couch potatoing (it's what I do best). Writing. If I can summon up some energy I might get around to installing some stuff on the laptop, but right now that looks very unlikely.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Rotten Tomatoes is one of my favorite movie sites. It gathers reviews from all over the BBI and from American newspapers, and displays an average percentage (the Tomatometer) to give you an indication of how movies have been rated.

Some examples from their list:
- Toy Story. 100%, on 49 reviews. My 50th wouldn't change that one bit.
- Jaws. 100%, on 34 reviews. Again. No change.
- The Usual Suspects. 89%, on 45 reviews. The best movie experience I've ever had. Should be a hundred, but what do critics know?
- The City of Lost Children (La Cité des Enfants Perdus). 82%, on 33 reviews. The most visually stunning movie ever. A fairy tale for grownups.
- Fight Club. 81%, on 124 reviews. One of my favorite films, but still not much off what I would have said.
- 28 Weeks Later. 71%, on 173 reviews. Errr....no. POS. POS POS POS. So lame I don't know where to begin...
- Daredevil. 44%, on 202 reviews. This should have been a ten. Five. One. But then again, I can't be objective when it comes to childhood heroes.
- The Number 23. 8%, on 181 reviews. I thought this rating was very unfair after seeing the movie. But then again, I read a lot reviews on Rotten Tomatoes for this movie before seeing it, so my expecations were significantly lowered.

Can you find anything you really disagree with on their site?

I'm on their email list and get updates regularly. Today my eyes were drawn to the result for Max Payne. Zero. I repeat. Zero. So of course I had to go look. Turned out it was seven percent, but still. Seven. During the day it has gradually increased, and now stands at 15.

My favorite comment:

The film's best line sums up my feelings on it perfectly "Stay away from Max Payne." But they probably don't mean it the same way I do, huh?

Hilarious. I expect it to suck. I bet it could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. And I dare all of you to name a movie based on a video game that doesn't.

Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn

I like the fall. I'm not a heat person. At all. At maybe 25, 26 degrees Celsius I just shut down. Headache, fatigue, the whole thing.

So September, October spells relief for me. Especially since all the windows in our apartment are facing south, and air-conditioning is very much a no-show in Swedish apartment buildings. I bought a portable one a few years back, but it's kind of noisy and not really a proper replacement for the real thing.

Then again, I'm not a rain person either. And so not a snow person. So, yes, mistlur, I am a complainer. A whiner. Weather is rarely right for me. If I had my way, we would have late summer evening weather, all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year.

Now the leaves are turning for real. I wish I had the time and peace of mind to just go out and walk around for hours, looking. Maybe next weekend. Or maybe the one after that. Or...

Also like a human receptionist, it is not possible to impress her

Conversation today, while walking back from lunch.

Me: Maybe I should aim for some kind of coordinating role.
Coworker: Yeah?
Me: Yeah. Someone who has all the right connections, and can sit around all day just telling people who they should talk to, to get things done.
Coworker: There's a name for that sort of job.
Me: Yeah?
Coworker: Yeah. Receptionist.

Pwned!

Not that there's anything wrong with being a receptionist. I just know that I would seriously consider bringing some sort of lethal weapon to work if I had to sit around and be nice all day long, everyday. Receptionists of the world, I salute you!

To a good approximation, all species are insects

I went to a museum on Saturday, with the Girl, my parental units, my soon-to-be-in-New-Zeeland brother and his girl. It was a pretty interesting place, though we failed to bring a proper camera.

In the gift shop, they had all kinds of nerd toys, and I couldn't resist.

Yes, it looks like a mechanical insect. Yes, I am a geek. Yes, I like clockwork mechanisms. Yes, that is my hand.

It (the toy, not the hand) skitters around on any flat surface if you wind it up. Pointless. But a lot of fun. And my geek score just went up. Yay!

The stories of my death are highly exaggerated

In response to EGE's question on my last entry, and just to dispel any rumours that might be flying around out there on the BBI (Big Bad Internet), I am not dead. The laptop, however, remains so. Though not really.

Without going into mind-numbing detail about all the trials and tribulations surrounding the laptop, I can say that I am not a happy camper, and that a CD with a new, proper OS is on the way from LG. I expect to be up and running sometime next week.

So. My absence is mostly due to that but also due to a general lack of time. I will be back, though.

And as an observation: scraping ice from the windows of the car on October 6th is not OK.