Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Born again? No, I am not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time

This must be some conspiracy at work.

Two days ago I met a religious nut on the train to work. Today, a small, unassuming man came up to me on the train home and handed me what appeared to be a yellow business card. Now, would I have written this post if it was a business card? Hell, no. Which, it turns out, is a very appropriate word here. Hell.

I can't take a good picture of the thing, so I'll paraphrase here. It said:

“Jesus loves people. All have sinned. You have sinned and the penalty for sin is eternal death. Only Jesus can save you from hell to heaven. God's gift to you through Jesus Christ is fellowship with God and eternal life. Welcome Jesus Christ into your life!”

I'm not kidding. I'm looking at the damn thing right now. What the hell is going on? Have the religious nutters of Sweden decided to band together and convert me? Has there been some secret meeting where members of various Christian churches sat down and said, “that bearded, black-clad must be brought into the light of the God-Emperor...I mean Christ!” I'd like to think they said God-Emperor. That's so much cooler than Christ. But maybe not.

Seriously. What the hell is going on? Are we experiencing a tsunami of religion through what is a pretty secular country? Will I be accosted frequently by morons that believe I need to be “saved”? If it continues, I will snap at some point, that's for sure.

Now, from the headline of this post and previous posts you might get the idea that I'm prejudiced towards religious people. And you would be right. I'm a fairly open-minded guy when it comes to most things, but I've yet to come across someone that has been able to explain “faith” to me in a way that makes me understand why someone else can believe. I think I've mentioned before that I have some very intelligent friends that believe, that would describe themselves as Christians, and even one that works as a priest. I need to talk to them. And soon. If this madness continues it may be too late to pull me back from my prejudices.

6 comments:

ege said...

Read the book of Job. I'm not kidding. It's not about what people think. (And you know I don't believe in God, so I'm not trying to convert you.) Read the King James if you think you can handle it (which I think you probably can). And if you don't feel like reading it, I'd love to hear what your Priest friend has to say.

I'm so jealous. I wish I had a priest friend.

Sparkle Plenty said...

That is a truly magnificent blog title, Mr. Beardonaut.

So, I'm thinking that you should prepare a tidy deck of what appears to be little yellow business cards that either:

A) Say the exact same thing, and if you're handed a card like that again give the person a card and kind of stare at him or her with your head cocked to one side.

B) Have a picture of this guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8
accompanied by the words "I am the god of hellfire and I bring you FIRE!"

I like "B" best!

Martin said...

1, I have one of those yellow cards. My girlfriend gave it to me. We laughed, and now it has a place on my fridge.

2, What know you of the God-Emperor? Seriously, I didn't know you were that kind of a nerd. It would be pretty hip if GW printed cards like that.

3, Never forget that simple but effective relief can be granted through watching some clips of Christopher Hitchens. He's a fun guy!

beardonaut said...

ege: I've read the Bible, though it was a very long time ago. I should probably reread some of it.


Sparkle: why thank you. I ripped it from the TV show The Maxx, where the main character says "I don't have a TV now but the shows in my mind are almost always better".

To A, I say it should say the exact same thing except two or three key words that I exchange for something else.

To B, I say that guy had a pretty nifty piece of headgear. Gimme!


Martin:
1. They're frikkin' everywhere, them religious nuts.

2. Quite a bit, actually. I started playing WH40K about 17 years ago (gods, I'm old), though I haven't played for quite some time now. I'm more of an RPG kind of guy, anyway. And yes, it would be. I should email GW with that suggestion.

3. Will check him out.

Martin said...

Huh, 17 years ago, that's a cool period for the hobby. I started precicely ten years ago, and stopped being serious about it maybe five years ago. I do own a Golden Demon, though. =)

beardonaut said...

It is, it is. I was very excited when the 40K RPG came out last year. Shit system, but one of the coolest universes ever.

A Golden Demon? For what? I'm not a painter, I play. Others can paint for me.