I wasted time, and now doth time waste me

A list I stole from Cupcakes.

Three names you go by:
1. Martin
2. The Beard (Skägget, in Swedish)
3. Lurvilur (nothing I can translate)

Three screen names you have had:
1. Beardonaut
2. StalkingButler
3. monster

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Grey Carhartt cargo pants
2. Black Dillinger Escape Plan tee
3. A frown

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:
(I'll go for right now)
1. Machine Head
2. Kongh
3. Explosions in the Sky

Three careers you're considering:
(I'm pretty pleased with where I am, so I'll go with careers I have considered in the past)
1. Journalist
2. Architect
3. Writer (still considering this one)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Japan
2. Damascus
3. Machu Pichu

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1. I like beer. I don't like wine (men like wine, not boys)
2. I'm loud
3. I like video games where things die. Horribly. Preferably by gunfire, but fists and swords work fine too

Three ways I am stereotypically a chick:
1. I don't like bugs
2. I can say “Noo!” just like Princess Peach
3. I hide behind my hands or a pillow when scary movies get really scary

Three celeb crushes:
1. Christian Bale
2. Elektra
3. Winona Ryder (not anymore though, now she just bugs me)

Three things that scare you:
1. My loved ones dying
2. Saying “Candyman” three times in front of a mirror. Won't ever happen
3. Earwigs

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. No children
2. Laughter
3. Time

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Eyes
2. “Everybody knows I'm an ass man!”
3. Taste in music (not physical in the literal sense, I know, but more important than most physical attributes)

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Couch potatoing
2. Writing
3. Playing games

Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier

Back in 2005, Time listed the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present. Why 1923 you ask? That's the year when Time Magazine was first published.

It pleases me that my two favorite writers, William Gibson and Neal Stephenson, are both on the list, though not for what I believe to be their best books (that would be Pattern Recognition and Cryptonomicon, respectively), and that Watchmen is on there. A graphic novel on that list. Amazing.

Out of the 100 books, I've read 15:
Animal Farm - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
Naked Lunch - William Burroughs
Neuromancer - William Gibson
1984 - George Orwell
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
Watchmen - Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons

These two are on my bookshelf, waiting to be read:
Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy
The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon

And I tried to read Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon eight years back, and couldn't get past page 20. I've evolved considerably as a reader since, and I need to try it again. I need to read The Crying of Lot 49 first though. And the dozen or so other books waiting on my shelves.

Which ones have you read?

53 questions

Hanna did this list on her blog, so Mah Girl and I decided to pass the time and do the same list. Now go do it.

1. How old are you in five years?
38. Two years away from a red sports car.

2. Who did you spend two hours with today?
Mah Girl. We've lounged in the couch, watched West Wing, feeling sorry for ourselves (me cause I feel like crap, Mah Girl cause she's dreading a school thing tomorrow).

3. How tall are you?
179.5 centimeters. That .5 of a centimeter is important.

4. What is the latest movie you saw?
The Mist. It sort of plodded along until the end, which is by far the darkest ending I've ever seen. Spectacular.

5. Who did you last call?
My boss.

6. Who called you last?
A guy from work, with some question. Really, they can't get through the day without me (a lie, really, but a fun lie).

7. What was in the last text message you got?
"Oj. Tack så mycket!" (in English, "Wow. Thanks a lot!"). From a friend we're taking to the Eagles of Death Metal gig on March 7th for his 30th birthday. Which was several months ago.

8. Do you prefer calling or texting?
Texting, anytime. I do enough calls at work.

9. Are your parents married or divorced?
Married.

10. When was the last time you saw your mother?
December 28th.

11. What color are your eyes?
Brown.

12. When did you wake up today?
0800, when the alarm went off. Still ill, so no point in setting it at 0600. Though I will try and see tomorrow.

13. What's your favorite Christmas carol?
This.

14. What's your favorite place?
Anywhere where there are people I really like, in a good mood. Often, it's our living room. During my winter vacation it was the Christmas Day party. Etc. If we're talking travels, I'll go with New York, every time.

15. What's your least favorite place?
Hospitals. I get nauseous just walking into a hospital. My personal hell will no doubt be a hospital.

16. Where do you think you'll be in ten years?
No idea. The telecom business is very dynamic, so who knows where I'll be? Hopefully in Stockholm, hopefully in a nice apartment (I vote "NO!" when it comes to living in a house). If we're talking dreams, then I'll be a published fiction writer. Though that probably won't happen.

17. What used to scare you at night as a child?
Nightmares about falling. Nowadays it's the fear that I left the stove on or the fridge open.

18. What's the last thing that really made you laugh?
Toby Ziegler, on West Wing. We laugh quite a bit, Mah Girl and I, but at things you people wouldn't understand.

19. How big is your bed?
200 centimetres by 160.

20. Do you have a desktop or a laptop computer?
Laptop, both at work and home. I probably won't go back to desktop, and I'm contemplating a new, smaller laptop.

21. Do you sleep with or without clothes?
Briefs only. Oddly enough I use boxers during the day. It's one of my (many) quirks.

22. How many pillows do you have in bed?
Two.

23. How many provinces ("landskap" in Swedish) have you lived in?
Four.

24. Which cities have you lived in (though "cities" is incorrect, I can't think of a better word)?
Sundsvall, Karlskoga, Eskilstuna, Stockholm. That would be four.

25. Do you prefer shoes, socks or knitted socks?
Socks. Shoes when I go outside. Sandals at work.

26. Are you a social person?
Yes. A friend has told me I suffer from oral incontinence.

27. What's your favorite ice cream?
There are so many. But I'll narrow it down to a tie between Ben & Jerry's Half-baked and the half litre vanilla with crushed chocolate from GB.

28. What's your favorite food?
Lasagna (yes, I'm Garfield).

29. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes.

30. Do you like coffee?
Hell no. It's more evil than Sideshow Bob.

31. What do you drink for breakfast?
Water. Sometimes tea. Sometimes juice.

32. Which side do you sleep on (unclear if this is which side of the bed or if it's about in which position I sleep, so I'll go with both)?
I always sleep on the right side, viewed from the foot of the bed. It is the way it always has been, is and will be. As to positions, I tend to sleep on my side, but either works. If I fall over on my back it's not long before a kick encourages me back on my side...

33. Do you know how to play poker?
Texas Hold'em, yes. I'm not an expert, hell, maybe not even a novice, but I have a grasp of the basic rules.

34. Do you like cuddling?
Yes.

35. Do you want children?
No.

36. What other languages than Swedish have you studied?
English and German. The German is basically gone.

37. Ever been in an ambulance?
No, knock on wood.

38. Do you prefer the sea or a pool?
I'm not much of a swimming person, but if we're talking swimming, definitely a pool. But I like the sea too, for completely different reasons.

39. What do you prefer to spend your money on?
Superficial things. CDs, DVDs, boxes of TV shows.

40. Do you own expensive jewellry?
No.

41. Who's the funniest person you know?
Mah Girl.

42. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Nope. But there a few of these scattered around the apartment. And a few others.

43. What's the closest thing to you right now that is red?
Mah Girl's hair.

44. Do you flirt a lot?
I have no idea how to.

45. What was the latest book you read?
"Blackwater: The rise of the world's most powerful mercenary army" by Jeremy Scahill. Scary stuff. My creative writing teacher told me he doesn't read stuff like that because it just makes him more paranoid. It's true. But that just means more people should read it. There are lots of things going on in this world that we should be more knowledgable about.

46. Do you read a daily paper?
Yes. Metro, every day I'm on the train.

47. Do you subscribe to a magazine (the question was really for a "veckotidning", but I chose to ignore that)?
Yes. Wired.

48. What radio station did you listen to last?
I wake every day to a classic rock station, don't know which.

49. What did you scribble down on paper last?
Probably something at work. I use my phone for private notes, grocery lists, etc.

50. When was the last time you were in church?
Either at Mah Girl's grandmother's funeral or at the baptism of a friend's son. Not sure which month was which.

51. Who was your favorite teacher in "högstadiet" (which is grade 7 through 9 in Swedish school)?
Arne, the chemistry teacher. He had a penchant for settings things on fire or blowing things up. He used to caution us about the dangers of acids, and how you should run water over your skin for at least ten minutes if you got some on you. Then he splashed acid over his hand and wiped it against his lab coat.

52. What's the longest period of time you've lived in a tent (as in camping)?
Six days, while doing my military service. Camping is more evil than coffee (see above).

53. Who did something extra special for you last?
Mah Girl, who did the dishes when it was my turn. Oh the joy.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading

So, on to books. Here it's not the best books that came out in 2008, but rather the best books I read during 2008. Why? Because while I do buy a fair number of books each year, I don't necessarily buy new ones.

3. Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin
A very odd, but fascinating book. A sort of fairytale, but not for children. It's a story about love, time and New York. Not an easy read, but well worth the time. If you have any interest in modern fantastic literature (not fantasy, mind you), read it.

2. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
Outstanding. A punch in the stomach. A man and his son walk down a road through an America devastated by an unspecified catastrophe. It's the first McCarthy novel I've read, but won't be the last. Stunning story, and amazing language.

1. JPod, by Douglas Coupland
Coupland is one of those on/off writers for me. Either I worship what he has written, or just shrug after I put the book down. This is definitely an on. The story revolves around a group of people working at a company that designs computer games, and is brimming with geek references and geek humor. However, it soon evolves into something else, as the main character's pot-growing mother and Douglas Coupland himself are introduced into the story.

I believe that Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close would have made in into the list, but I haven't picked that up since I put it down.

That is all. What did you read in 2008?

'Cause I'll rip the mike, rip the stage, rip the system

List time continues. And we still have music to talk about, though in a live setting this time.

2008 was a good live year. I got to see friends in killer bands play small venues and I got to see huge bands play festivals and big indoor places. Not the best year by far, but still pretty damn impressive, at least compared to the CD year, which was kind of disappointing, with a few exceptions.

So. Live list of 2009. I tried to get it down to three, but I couldn't, so here are the four best live gigs of 2009.

4. Wovenhand, at the Peace & Love festival in Borlänge.
We went to this festival with the explicit purpose of seeing Wovenhand. Mah Girl and I are both fans, and we felt it was time to make up for that Debaser gig we missed back in 2006. Why we missed it? Because I listened to “Consider the Birds” once, and decided it was no good. I had a bad day, and Mah Girl bought my opinion, for some reason. She has learned to be more critical of me since then, especially when it comes to anything Wovenhand.
So we went, and we had a great time, not only at the gig but at the festival itself. My kind of festival, right smack in the middle of town, with open restaurants, real bathrooms and even a Systembolaget on the festival grounds. And they had a Ben & Jerry's stand.
But back to Wovenhand. The crowds were pretty thin at the gig, and we could stand right at the front, though a bit to the left of center stage. We're not much for crowds, so that was cool. We were expecting at most a Wovenhand duo, with David Eugene Edwards on guitar and vocals, and maybe a percussionist or something backing him up. We got a full band. Reverend Dave, as he should be known, seemed to be in a bad mood, but that didn't matter. They played songs spanning their entire catalog, and managed to be more intimidating than The Haunted, who we saw at the same festival. And that's saying something.

3. The Cure, at the Globe Arena in Stockholm.
I've seen The Cure twice before, in 1992 at the Globe and 1996 at the Hultsfred festival. They've delivered both times, but weren't that memorable either time. This one, however, was one for the ages. 36 songs, three hours on stage, and the fact that we didn't get to hear either “Burn” or “Fascination Street” was completely nullified by a spectacular rendition of “If Only Tonight We Could Sleep”. Fantastic.

2. Rage Against the Machine, at the Hultsfred festival.
We did the adult festival thing for Hultsfred 2008, my brother and I and some friends, and went down for just one day. Why? Some would say 'cause we're not in the festival spirit. That's always been true for me, if by “festival spirit” you mean living on a muddy field in a tent surrounded by 10,000 drunk teenagers. I can't handle two drunk teenagers, and I've never been able to, and tents? Please. I'll take a bed, a shower and proper breakfast any day over that.
So we rented a minivan, plugged the cooler into the lighter socket, and off we went. We saw some other bands as well, but all that was just warm-up, opening acts for the main show. And what a show it was.
There are few things that can be compared to being in a crowd of 15,000 going completely apeshit, jumping up and down, making the ground literally move, in beat to live music. As rock shows go, it was one of the most energetic I've been to. We discussed, my brother, who's even less the festival type than I am, and I, how a band can end the show with the same damn song they've ended hundreds of other shows with, and still do it at 100 percent energy and with big smiles on their faces. The answer? The fans. Of which I remain one.

1. Dillinger Escape Plan, at Klubben in Stockholm.
I managed to see Dillinger and their two opening acts twice in three days. Work put me in Gothenburg two nights after I watched them completely destroy Klubben, and I got to see it all over again. I'm amazed no one was killed or at least maimed on stage, the way the Dillinger boys fling themselves and their instruments around. I'm amazed Greg Puciato can belt out throat-rending screams one second and hit pitch-perfect notes Mike Patton-style the next. I'm amazed I got to see the whole thing twice.

And that's it. Again, challenge extended. List your live year 2008.

Footnote: there was one show, that in retrospect, I really regret not going to. This Will Destroy You opened for Japanese madmen Boris in Stockholm in April. I missed it. Then again, I was in New Orleans then, so no real biggie. In fact, screw it. I was in freakin' New Orleans then!

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music

So. List time. And of course I have to start with music. So, here are my top CDs of 2008.

3. Wovenhand - “Ten Stones”
Another ride into the personal religious darkness of David Eugene Edwards. Not as mindblowing as “Consider the Birds” but still extremely qualitative songwriting and such emotion, such feeling.

MySpace
Wikipedia

2. Meshuggah - “obZen”
The sixth full-length from Swedish metal outfit Meshuggah is a full-on aural assault. Veering away a bit from their signature polyrhythmics, “obZen” is still a very complicated affair, and once again cements Meshuggah's position as one of the most, if not the most, interesting Swedish metal bands. Pop music it ain't.

MySpace
Wikipedia

1. This Will Destroy You - “S/t”
Beautiful melodies and moody aural landscapes slowly build and build into crescendos of emotion that wash over me like tsunami, over and over and over. This is music to cry to. Music to watch New York go by through a car window by night to. Music to look out across the sea to. Music to look up at the stars to. Music to love to. This is one of the emotionally most powerful albums I've come across in a really long time, and I'm completely blown away by it. Awe is the most appropriate word I can find.

MySpace
Wikipedia

That's it. Three CDs, the cream of the crop of my 2009. Consider this a challenge. Post your own lists, here or at your blogs. Find me some new stuff to listen to. Convince me. And please post links as well.

Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all

A new year has just begun. Outside it sounds like artillery fire, and the horizon is lit up by fireworks. Literally, lit up. It's spectacular. We live on the fifth floor, on top of a hill, and on a clear day, like today, we can see for miles and miles. Tonight, just like two years ago, we can see fireworks from hundreds of sites, detonating all over the horizon. Very cool.

I'm not much for resolutions, New Year's or any other kind. Last year our resolution was to go more to the movies. We did. This year my resolution is less clear-cut, less measurable.

2009 will be a better year than 2008. Not saying I've had a bad year, on the whole, just that 2009 needs to be better than 2008. I hope yours is as well.

(I was thinking about doing some kind of list over the year, top movie and CD and all that, but I won't. Instead I will do many lists. I will unleash a barrage of lists. And I expect you all to accept the challenge. Be prepared)

Without music, life would be a mistake

I'm still reading Klosterman, after a slight hiatus trying to catch up with Empire and Wired. A quote caught my eye today:

Do you know people who insist they like “all kinds of music”? That actually means they like no kinds of music.

This is, in fact, truth. At least from my point of view. Since my discovery of music that seemed to speak to me, on a very primal level, I have had a very emotional relationship with music, and I can't really understand people that don't approach it in the same way. I know this is elitist of me, but I don't care. Passion about music, is in some ways the yardstick by which I measure people. That and if they like TOOL or not.

The mighty TOOL, live. The closest to a religious experience I've ever had.

Music matters. It's that simple. And I'm going to say that again: Music matters. Not bands, not artists. Music. I don't put bands up on pedestals because of image or adherence to a particular genre of music. If they have captivating tunes, that's enough. But I still put them on pedestals, and I consider myself passionate about music.

I get goose bumps from some songs. I feel like I'm about to rise into the sky on the voices of some singers. There are some songs I can't listen to on bad days, since they would make me cry, some of them because there are specific events tied to them and some simply because they are powerful. There are songs that make me want to scream, songs that make me want to laugh, songs that make me want to curl up under a blanket and just stare vacantly at the ceiling.

Personally, I believe I have a fairly broad taste in music, in some ways, but that's probably not true. Most of the stuff I listen to is connected to the other stuff I listen to, but more on an emotional level then on a “this sounds just like all the other bands you listen to”. There is a core of American bands with big guitars and big melodies in my CD collection, but lots of other things as well.

Now, two lists. This is a challenge to y'all. Meet it by commenting, or face my wrath.

Top three CDs (I realize many see this as an impossibility to list, but at least you have three favorites right now):
- TOOL, “Aenima”. Always number one. Scarily powerful, scarily good. I can't fathom how anything can ever top this.
- The Tea Party, “Transmission”. Led Zeppelin meets Nine Inch Nails, with sitars. Exceptional.
- The Dillinger Escape Plan, “Ire Works”. This is a “right now”, but their fascination with Faith No More-ish melodies, electronics and musical insanity in general creates a combination unlike anything else I've heard.

Three most unexpected CDs in collection (and these must be CDs you listen to, not stuff that sloshes about at the bottom of some crate in your storage room, and they can't be more than one from the same artist):
- Wannadies, “Skellefteå”. Swedish guitar pop sensation of the 90's.
- Photek, “Modus Operandi”. Drum'n'bass.

And the fact I could only come up with two, proves how homogeneous my taste in music must be. I'm soo alternative...