Sunday, August 9, 2009

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

The heat really only got to me a couple of days here and there in June and July. During one week we had to run the AC in the living room a few times, so we didn't melt. Here in the Land Of No Air Conditioning I had to buy a portable one, that we move from room to room whenever the heat gets to us.

Which it does now. The devil we call the sun is casting it's baleful gaze down upon us unsuspecting mortals yet again, and while others may smile at the thought of such a thing and then frolic about in parks and on beaches and anywhere really, I just want to close the blind, crank up the AC to ten and watch TV/play games/read/write/hug the girl.

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Oh yeah. And listen to music. At eleven.

Now I'm going to go out on the balcony, which you can't even open the door to between two and eight without succumbing to spontaneous combustion, and give the sun the finger. And maybe find me a spider I can kill.

Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down
Mom please flush it all away
I wanna watch it go right in and down
I wanna watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away
Time to bring it down again
Don't just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines
I can't imagine why you wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend
I wanna see it all come down
Suck it down
Flush it down

4 comments:

ege said...

Oh, man. You know I love you, but I just looked it up. Unless weather.com is mistaken, it was 76 degrees F where you are today? 76!? Around here, people set their air conditioners for warmer than that! At least, that's what I hear. I wouldn't know, I've never owned one.

(Hate me yet?)

André said...

Learn to swim.

Anders said...

Är det bra, erat kylaggregat? Köpt varsdå? Rekommenderas?

beardonaut said...

ege: actually, it was 78... But a few things need to be considered.

One, it rarely, if ever, gets over the mid-80's in Sweden. We're not used to it.

Two, all the windows in my apartment face south. We have sunshine on the entire apartment from two in the afternoon until the sun goes down, which is around nine P.M now.

Three, I can't handle heat for a long period of time. Dry heat works pretty well, as long as I can drink enough (water, that is. Not like the sucker at the Cardinals game I went to, who walked into the medical tent, or whatever you call it, dizzy and swaying. 110 degrees in the shade, and when asked by the staff if he had been drinking enough he replied "Yeah, I've had seven beers". Instant saline drip), humidity makes it worse.

And yes. I know I'm a wimp. I embrace it.


André: Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.


Anders: helt OK. Köpt på Clas Ohlsson. Konsulterade min far, som designar värme- och kylanläggningar, och fick tipset att inte köpa en vattenkyld utan en som blåser ut varmluften genom slang. Vi hänger ut vår genom fönstret. Den kostade runt 2500 om jag minns rätt. Och ja, den rekommenderas.